I have gotten off my lazy (but cute) ass to finally send out the very first issue of Rocketbox! I struggled for a long time with two ideas for the first issue:
1) the word rocketbox! repeated over and over and
2) Annoying Instant Messages
The second idea won. But I didn't want this to be stupid, meaningless IMing, I wanted it to have a purpose. I decided that each IM would have to prove one of the four fundamental cornerstoness of Rocketbox (get out your pencil and some paper): Life, Love, Randomness, and Discovery.
Discovery:
First I set off on my AOL instant messager-powered, root beer fueled quest to find the answer to the age old question: "asl?" and also, time permitting, find the meaning of life.
I got too many varying answers to come to one certain conclusion, so I resorted to asking people "asl?" over and over until they stopped responding. I got one person up to 13 times! The trick is to mix your normal "asl?"s with phrases like, "So, where are you from?" and "But, really...a/s/l? Here's an example of a typical conversation with a typical Instant Messagee:
rocketbox: asl?
DUDE: 17mopittsburgh
DUDE: u?
rocketbox: asl?
DUDE: yes
rocketbox: asl?
DUDE: male 17 pittsburgh
rocketbox: ah...but really...asl?
DUDE: what does that mean?
rocketbox: asl!
rocketbox: age-sex-location
DUDE: oh
DUDE: 17 male pittsburgh
rocketbox: cool
rocketbox: asl?
DUDE: i just gave it to u
rocketbox: Oh, yeah. Sorry!
DUDE: where u from
rocketbox: Colorado
rocketbox: You?
rocketbox: m/f?
DUDE: what does that mean
rocketbox: male/female
DUDE: dude
DUDE: i told u male
rocketbox: oh, yeah
rocketbox: I'm from Colorado
rocketbox: So....where're you from?
DUDE: dude
DUDE: your a moron
The average person stopped at the third time, and I got one person to 13. It was great.
Love:
Apparently, there's a whole intrest category for "marriage." I found someone who listed "marriage" as an intrest of his and immediately proposed.
rocketbox: Marry me.
MR.DUDE: do what?
rocketbox: You heard me, Darling. Let's get married!
rocketbox: I love you more than life itself!
rocketbox: hello?
Apparently, he didn't feel the same way about me as I did about him.
Randomness:
There was much randomness tonight. Here's someone who believes I speak only French, but understand English.
LE DUDE: asl?
rocketbox: Bonjour!
rocketbox: Qu-est-ce que c'est, le "asl?"
LE DUDE: What?
rocketbox: Je m'excuse...Je ne parle pas l'anglais...mais je le comprende!
LE DUDE: WHAT?
rocketbox: Est-ce que tu aimes le "television"?
LE DUDE: Do you want me to talk to you in English?
LE DUDE: Uh I don't really watch a lot of TV
rocketbox: Oui! Tu me parle en anglais, oui?
rocketbox: J'aime beacoup le tele...J'aime le "Friends"
LE DUDE: I hate Friends
rocketbox: C'est dommage! Tu n'aimes pas la "Courtney Cox" or "Matthew Perry"?
LE DUDE: Well, yeah, I'd fuck her
rocketbox: Ooh la la!
This went on for a long time.
Also: I talked to people who liked politics, and met a really funny guy. Short excerpt:
rocketbox: Hello. Do you like politics?
COOL DUDE: Haha, you're the 4th person to ask me that tonight :)
rocketbox: What's your stance on murder? I'm against it.
rocketbox: We could debate!
COOL DUDE: No, I'm against it too, sorry. It's hard to find pro-murder people nowadays.
rocketbox: Well, most of them are in jail, right?
COOL DUDE: Right!
rocketbox: So, what's your opinion on MONEY? I'm for it.
COOL DUDE: Haha...that's like asking "what's your opinion on oxygen?"
rocketbox: Which candidate do you think is more pro-oxygen?
COOL DUDE: Oh, Al Gore. Definitely!
rocketbox: Yeah, I heard George W. Bush is against it. The hypocrite!
COOL DUDE: Yeah, any breathing human who was anti-oxygen would have to be a hypocrite :)
There's a WHOLE LOT more to that, too.
This person actually IMed me. Sucker.
DUUUUDE: hi
rocketbox: hi!
rocketbox: Do you like...stuff?
DUUUUDE: what?
rocketbox: stuff!
DUUUUDE: What kind of stuff?
rocketbox: I don't know.
rocketbox: Help!
rocketbox: who am I?
rocketbox: where am I?
rocketbox: who are you?
DUUUUDE: im jon, you?
rocketbox: I'm Jon!
DUUUUDE: nevermind
Then there was this person who liked birdwatching.
rocketbox: So, you into *BIRDWATCHING*? (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Dudette: yes
rocketbox: Oh, I see.
Dudette: ok
rocketbox: So, seen any nice *BIRDS* lately? (wink, wink, nudge nudge)
Dudette: not really
rocketbox: Oh, okay.
rocketbox: (wink wink, nudge nudge)
I think we really connected, you know?
Life:
What is the meaning of Life? I asked some people. The answers:
- to die
- huh?
- asl?
- to make others happy
- to be happy
They were all wrong. The meaning of life is as follows:
To make Alex happy by e-mailing her and telling her how wonderful this was. Mailto : girl@technicolor.org
Thank you, and have a nice night.
asl?